Britain's Oldest Couple

PHYLISS Tarrant has been there and done that, thank you. Serious history has gone before this little old lady. But at 100 years old, she’s a spring chicken compared to her old man.

Because hubby, Ralph, is 105.

And that makes the Tarrants - with a combined age of 205 -Britain's oldest married couple.

I popped round to their Broomhill flat for a coffee and a chinwag.

“You can’t keep me long, I’ve got lunch club at 12,” she warned.

“Ralph’s gone to Tesco, he’ll be back soon.”

Their spotless lounge is adorned with family photographs. On the sofa, a tidy stack of crossword magazines. On the windowsill, a bouquet of flowers to mark Phyliss’s birthday. And on the mantelpiece, a bottle of Bells.

She spots me staring.

“We have a tot of whisky every night,” she laughs. “I sit in bed and Ralph brings them through on a tray. We have them with hot water, it helps us to sleep.”

Phyliss was born on Slinn Street, Crookes, and worked as a typist at Hadfield's steelworks for 30 years.A life-long Wednesday fan, she loves opera and is a member of St Mark's Church in Broomhill where she worships every Sunday.

The couple, who wed at Crookes Church in 1933, have two daughters - Brenda, 71, and Christine, 61 - as well as five grandchildren and one great-grandchild.

How this pair met is as sweet as anything.

“We all hung around Crookes post office,” she recalls. “He had his pals and I had mine."

“My parents were very strict and I had to be in for 10 o’clock. And all at once, the church bells struck ten and I had to run all the way home. Run, run, run. Ralph thought it was hilarious”.

Speak of the devil.

Her other half bursts into the living room with armfuls of shopping and a boyish grin.

“Sorry I’m late, duck,” he says, plonking himself into an armchair.

“Now,” he sighs. “Fire away.”

Ralph, originally from Nottingham, moved to Sheffield with his family when he was seven.He left school aged 13 and started work as an office boy at the George Turton Platts steelworks. He moved round most of the departments before he left to join Refuge Assurance, where he remained until he retired in 1968.During the war he served in RAF 201 Coastal Command, where he was a corporal based in Inverness.

The couple like it in Broomhill.

“I call this the West End,” says Phyllis. “It’s very green. If you look out of the window, you can see a long way. I like it when you can see a long way.”

But she rarely gets out anymore, and says Sheffield is not what it used to be.

“I went on a coach trip last year. The coach passed where all the steelworks used to be. I looked down and there was nothing. The ground was flat. I cried and cried.”

“Lighten up,” Ralph interrupts. “Have you seen the muriel I painted?”

“It’s mural Ralph, not muriel.” Phylis tuts.

The couple put their long lives down to “a good diet, exercise, avoiding cigarettes - and a tot of whisky each night.”And the secret to their 75-year marriage?

“She behaves herself,” chuckles Ralph.

“Don’t write that,” she says.

Many happy returns.

The Nine O'Clock Service

IT IS seven o’clock on a Sunday night. Evensong time for the traditional Christian worshipper. But at St. Thomas’ church on the edge of Sheffield, the band are tuning their electric guitars.

The church is packed. People in bare feet greet one another like old friends. A disco ball casts a shimmer from the ceiling that dances merrily over the walls. The stained glass window that once overlooked the flock has been filled in and painted cream. In its place a PowerPoint, and it says ‘Welcome to the 7pm gathering.’

Beside the stage are a mountainous stack of shadow black speakers. Engineers on the balcony make last-minute checks to sound and lighting. We’re encouraged to help ourselves to tea and biscuits before finding a seat, or a cushion on the floor.
The music drops down to a low drizzle of synthesizer backbeat as the priest in jeans and a jumper takes to the stage. He tells people to find a space and gather their thoughts. One boy gets down on his knees and kisses the floor.

Their whispers create a buzzing all around us. It grows louder and louder. Suddenly there’s a forest of arms up high and they start to clap. There is chanting and whoops of ‘Thank you Lord.’
The band kicks into an upbeat number and the people jump up and down. Volunteers dressed in black emerge from the shadows and snake through the crowd with donation bowls.

“Michael Rowed The Boat Ashore” has been neatly put away with the other traditional relics of this church. St Thomas’ sings from a different hymn sheet now.

So, whither Christianity?

Fifteen years after the scandal of the Nine O’Clock Service, has St. Thomas’ church relapsed into the same cultish form of alternative worship or is it simply connecting with the young people of today?

Under the Rev Chris Brain, the Nine O’Clock service transformed Christian worship. Thumping music, dry ice and strobe lighting were characterised his service. Brain preached not about God but about the world. But the service has people divided, even today.

Stephen Lowe, Archdeacon of Sheffield at the time, has nothing but praise.

“I remember the service with immense affection. I was going almost every week myself,” he says.

“It was one of the most exciting energies of Christian worship in England.

“The church really needs to create services for young people, where they can worship and engage with God and The Nine O’clock service did that.”

But others weren’t so keen. One former member of the church calls it bizarre.

“There was nothing like it in the country,” says John from Woodseats.

“It was an alternative service and it shocked a lot of people. The style of worship was bizarre. Some people liked it and others ran a mile.

“It was more new age theology. They seemed interested in relating it to a person’s lifestyle. It was very woolly. God didn’t seem to be important.

“They talked about how wonderful Mother Nature was and how brilliant the world was. I didn’t like the way they kept harping on.”

The service was disbanded in 1995 after Chris Brain admitted to having sexual relations with women in the congregation.

Has the church learned from its mistakes?

“The issue was that there was an abuse of power,” says Venerable Lowe.

“Power should have been shared and handled more democratically.”

When the service moved to Ponds Forge, John believes the church should have scrutinised Brain.

“They should have kept a closer eye on things, but Chris knew best and he wasn’t going to listen to anybody else. He went off the rails.”

After twenty minutes of singing and dancing at the 7pm Gathering, the priest tells us to put our hands on our heart.

“Feel that beating. That is the Holy Spirit inside you.”

He says a prayer and asks for a round of applause. The crowd make it rapturous.

And the donation bowls are sent round once again.

Student Life

I STOOD outside my new home and watched their car pull away without me. My mum cried, my dad cried, everyone cried.

Months of preparation had led to this moment. Open days, interviews, personal statements written and rewritten a hundred times. Whole forests were lost for the prospectuses I had sent to the house. UCAS had become as much a part of my life as eating and sleeping.

But I’d finally done it. I’d flown the nest and gone to University.

Teary eyed, I turned and trundled up five flights of stairs to my room for the next year. I was living in halls of residence that were based on the design of a Swedish women’s prison.

And prison it was.

In my cell I had a bed, a desk and little else. Engraved on the desk were scribbles and declarations of love from roomies gone by, like “Sharon P. woz ere 91” and “Helen 4 Rob IDST.”

Showers and toilets were at the end of the corridor I shared with 12 other girls. You needed a code to get into them which wasn’t ideal when you were so drunk you couldn’t remember your own name.

At 5 o’clock sharp, the inmates would descend onto the huge canteen and queue for school dinner delights like cottage pie and spotted dick and custard. After tea, we were allowed to collect our post from reception. But no visitors and no loud music.

The Prison was so old it would have crumbled away if it had not been demolished last year.

Now I share a house with four girls, including one I went to high school with. I’m more suited to a house because you have more freedom. Come and go as you please and eat your meals at any time. You’re not forced to stand in the freezing cold in your smalls when a fire alarm goes off. Your own toilet is always a plus, too.

For a girl who was scared of her own shadow, my biggest fear about University was making friends. What if they didn’t like me? Was I too weird? Too Welsh? Would I be the girl with no friends?

The best advice I was given is a big cliché but it’s completely true. Everyone is in the same boat.
People are just as nervous as you. They will have the same questions and the same concerns, guaranteed. There is someone for everyone at University so the more people you meet the better chance you have of finding a great mate. Pluck up the courage to introduce yourself and they will appreciate it more than you know.

I’d like to dispel the myth that you have to be rich to go to University. I come from a pretty normal family. I grew up in Connah’s Quay in a terraced house and went to school in Flint. My mum once had four jobs at once to keep us afloat. My dad has always worked in factories.

I worked out that my loan entitlement wasn’t nearly enough to cover the cost of The Prison for my first year. I got myself a summer job on Deeside Industrial Estate making colostomy bags for 40 hours a week.

It wasn’t the way I’d foreseen my summer holiday but it gave me enough pennies to last the year.

Budgeting is vital when you’re at University too. I sit down once a month and work out my incomings and outgoings and anything I’m left with I spend wisely. Make the most of supermarket club cards because every little really does help. Watch out for students who want you for their experiments and will pay good money! You might even get yourself a little part-time job.

I’m proud to say I haven’t touched a penny of my overdraft, but I will have £18,000 of debt when I leave.

Is it worth it?

Of course it is. Employers value not just the practical knowledge you’ve gained from a degree but the worldly experience too. My confidence and people skills have flourished since being at University and this will be recognised by your potential boss.

Going to University takes initiative too. You decided what you wanted to be when you were 18 years old, a feat in itself. You researched the Universities, you went through the application process and you’ve packed up shop and gone.

I was the second in the family to go to University after my cousin left for Central Lancashire two years before me. I still come home for the odd weekend - a birthday, a christening and of course, my mum’s Sunday dinner.

Sheffield is a great city. Ten minutes one way is bustling West Street lined with shops, bars and restaurants. Ten minutes the other and you’re in the Pennines, superb walks for clearing a hangover.

Make the most of every opportunity at University because you’ll never get so many things handed to you on a plate. Join a club, play a sport, be a representative. All these things will look impressive on your C.V. and the people you meet doing them will often be lifelong friends.

This week I was fitted for my cap and gown.

It was so surreal because it only seems like yesterday that I was catching the bus to school. And now in three short months, my higher education will all be over. And it’s pretty emotional.

Lois Hough BA (Hons)

I can’t hide behind the occupation ‘student’ anymore. I’ll be a proper adult with a proper job and proper responsibilities. University is a dress rehearsal for the real thing, and I highly recommend the experience to anyone.

Spiked

WE'VE all done it girls. We’ve ditched our vodkas to leg it to the dance floor, abandoned our Malibu’s while we nip to the loo and let that handsome stranger buy us a vino. But what if our mysterious stranger had laced it with something sinister?

Last year, 700 people in the UK claimed to have been spiked. Spiking occurs when a mind-altering substance has been added to your drink without your knowledge. Motives include theft and revenge, but the most popular is rape and sexual abuse.

Rohypnol is the most common drug of choice. It is a tasteless pill which can take effect after just 10 minutes. It gained notoriety as the ‘date-rape’ drug after victims were sexually assaulted while unconscious. All traces of the drug disappear after 24 hours making prosecution difficult.
Symptoms of spiking include dizziness, vomiting, slurred speech, memory loss and paranoia.

Kim Roberts, 20 from Sheffield, thought spiking was something that just happened in Hollyoaks. Until she was caught out.

"Me and a girlfriend were out celebrating our exams. Two guys came up to us and offered to buy us drinks. They went to the bar while we carried on dancing.

“After a while, I started to feel sick. The room was spinning and there was two of everything. I don’t remember anything after that. My friend told me the morning after that I had tried to pick a fight with her.

“You see this kind of thing on TV but you never for one minute think you’ll be a victim”.
And it’s not just the ladies who are likely to be drugged. Almost 11% of victims are male.
David Roberts, 23 from Chester, was shocked when he was spiked at his local pub.

“The football on the big screen finished about 8.30pm and that’s the last I can remember.

“I woke the next day with a bucket of sick by my bed. My mates showed me pictures of me completely out of it.

“That type of thing doesn’t usually happen to a bloke. I was winding people up about the footie score so maybe someone wanted revenge”.

The Roofie Foundation is Europe’s only agency dealing with sexual abuse through drink spiking. They offer advice to people who have been targeted.

“Everyone is aware of their personal tolerance to alcohol so if you feel nauseous after a few drinks, tell a friend immediately and get them to take you home”.

“Under no circumstances let a stranger or someone you don’t trust take you home. They could be the person who spiked your drink”.

If you think you’ve had sex under the influence of a date-rape drug, Roofie urge you to go straight to the police.

“Take in the clothes you were wearing and don’t shower. Ask for blood and urine samples to be taken, as they might hold vital evidence”.

And girls, get to your local GUM clinic for advice on the morning after pill and STI’s. Check you still have your bank cards and call the bank to change your pin numbers.

‘Tis the season to be jolly. Just have your wits about you.

Visit http://www.roofie.com/ for more information

TrekAmerica

WHITEWATER rafting in Tennessee. A stretch limo down the Vegas strip. A helicopter over the Grand Canyon. Throw in some campers and an all-American tour guide. Welcome, cowboys, to TrekAmerica.

TrekAmerica has been tempting young travellers away from the package holiday for 35 years. Make your way around the States and experience the sights, sounds and smells of Americana. From the 7-day Western Wonder to the 64-day Trailblazer, there is something to suit everyone.

Size matters to Trek. With just 13 people on each tour, it’s more of a group of like-minded friends. Trek’s motto is ‘fun, freedom and flexibility’. No-one wants to be dragged around a visitor’s centre. They are ‘tours for non-tourists’ and encourage you to explore your own interests whenever the chance arises.

Toby Butland, Marketing Manager, talks about the advantages of TrekAmerica.

“Travelling with Trek is by far the most affordable mode of travel. You get value for money and that is incredibly important for students.

“Our passengers always tell us that it's more like travelling with a group of friends. You don't waste time waiting for buses and trains. You get much further off the beaten track with Trek. You discover all the secret places that you wouldn’t even know existed if you were on your own.”
Toby explains the importance of a tour leader.

“With you tour leader doing all the driving you'll arrive fresh at your next destination ready to get stuck in. Having a leader who knows the in's and out's means you won't miss a thing. You’re guaranteed to get the best deals on activities and places to eat too.”

Toby believes TrekAmerica will offer a better adventure than their rivals.“Travelling with a coach tour company means bigger groups and you'll be staying in major cities for the most part. Travelling by bus can be dangerous as they drop you off in dodgy downtown bus stations with long waits.

“Our main competitor does not maintain the same standards as we do. You could be shown around by a British tour leader, whereas we maintain a 100% American tour leader policy. You’re introduced to the States by a real American whose local knowledge is invaluable.”I first discovered Trek when my older cousin suddenly announced she was off to America for a fortnight. Two weeks later I went to collect her from the airport. She had a cowboy hat, the biggest smile and the best stories. I knew I had to do it.

So I’ve booked the Grand Trek. A loop-de-loop of the States, from New York to LA and back again. I’ve never been travelling on my own. Before University, I was scared to catch a bus on my own. But graduation is looming and soon I’ll be unleashed into the real world. I suppose I want to do something radical before I settle down, something to let off steam after three years of my head in the books. A six week trek across America, I rather fancy.

The benefits for graduates are endless. Not only will it give you the confidence to engage with new people but it will give you the patience to deal with them on a daily basis. It will show your employer that you have initiative. You’ve chosen your tour, you’ve saved like crazy and you’ve gone and done it. It takes guts and determination and your boss will acknowledge that. You will learn many lessons on tour, not least how to mount a horse or light a fire. It is the worldly knowledge that you will gain that is the most valuable.

Katy Lawrence, a Human Resource Management graduate, describes the highs and lows of her Southern Sun tour.

“I was excited to visit the cities but the highs were the unexpected bits. Things like looking at the stars in Yosemite, going to a drive-in movie and experiencing a real rodeo in Wyoming.

“The early mornings were not the best. We travelled across country so we went through three time changes. We were also in the van for a long time. A six hour drive was not considered long.
“We were constantly doing things, from the stuff in the itinerary to the ‘priceless’ experiences, like getting lost in Wal-Mart or having a game of ‘I Have Never’ around the campfire. They added so much to the trip”.

She explains what she gained from the experience.

“I have more confidence when meeting new people. I feel I understand different cultures and personalities a lot more. We had Australian, Taiwanese, South Korean, German and English people from Oxbridge to Essex.

“Finding common ground and having a conversation with these people was a challenge but I made some amazing friends.

“If your aim is to get a taste of America and you want fun along the way then TrekAmerica is perfect. Just be prepared to go with the flow and you’ll love it!”

Tours start from £480. Prices include entrance to the national parks, activities, attractions, overnight accommodations, local transportation and camping equipment. Don’t forget your flights and spends.

Folks, this is my best kept secret and I am passing it on to you all.

Go forth and Trek America.

Get 10% off any TrekAmerica tour by mentioning discount code 800003 at time of booking. Enter the code into the Special Request Box when booking online or mention to reservations staff when booking by phone.

Love on a Budget

CHRISTMAS only seems like yesterday. The dog is still wearing her festive bow and I’ve got a cheeseboard in the fridge with Mrs Bell’s Yorkshire Blue to tackle. Now Valentines Day is upon us and we’re feeling the pinch. Can we tug at the heartstrings when we’ve tightened our purse strings? Will Cupid make a flying entrance or is he saving his air-miles? And can love survive when the economy is dead?

“I’ll definitely be staying in this year,” says Anna Smith, 38, of Northop Hall. “The prices go through the roof around Valentines but especially this year. It’s just too expensive. Luckily my husband is a great cook so we’ll be having a quiet meal at home.”

It seems Anna’s not the only one fed up with pricey nosh. Julia Rowlands, 52, of Leeswood, is taking advantage of a special offer for that special dinner. “We usually go out for a slap-up meal somewhere lovely,” she says, “but this year we have vouchers for buy one get one free.” Julia is celebrating for more than one reason and is sad that she and her husband can’t do it in style. “We’ve been married 20 years in July so it’s a double celebration. It’s a shame we can’t splash out. We’ll probably just get an Indian takeaway and a DVD.”

One lady from Mold has taken Cupid’s arrow and snapped it right in two. Valentines Day is cancelled altogether for Katy Lindsay, 19. “I’ve made no plans at all,” she tells me. “I’ve just had a baby which costs enough as it is. Even though I’m really careful with my money, I just can’t afford it. I will be staying in.”

Paul Harris, 20, of Afonwen, will be doing the opposite but it’s not for the romantic reason you’d expect. His plans with his girlfriend are on hold while he waits tables at his local pub, The Pwll Gwyn. “It’s my shift on Valentine’s night so I couldn’t make plans anyway,” he says. “My time will be spent serving others.” Paul thinks it’ll be a busy one. “A lot of people have booked tables already so we’ll be rushed off our feet.” And as for his other half? “My girlfriend is gutted but she understands. We’ll do something the week after to make up for it.”

Has the recession given us depression? Are we still lovesick or sick of spending? Are we that out of pocket that we can’t treat our loved ones on Valentines Day?

“The credit crunch hasn’t really affected me,” says Dave Blundell, 42, of Chester. “I’m in between girlfriends at the moment so I will probably take her for a nice meal, no expense spared.”

And Andrew Jones, 35, of Mold, is spending more than what he usually would come February 14th. “Me and my wife are going to a charity function in Llangollen for the Rotary Club,” says Andrew. “It’s been organised for months, a day out for the both of us. Otherwise it’d just be a case of a card.”

While the sale of Valentines goodies may be dropping, the sale of one thing has soared. Cake stands, believe it or not, have been flying off the shelves. And why? Because couple’s who are planning to tie the knot on Valentines Day are making their own wedding cakes instead of paying for caterers.

“There definitely seems to be a growing trend of people looking to DIY their wedding day,” says Steve Whittle of Displaysense, the UK’s largest supplier of catering equipment.“Some of our customers have been very inventive with their purchases. One customer cut down on their wedding stationary and purchased some note clip holders from our leaflet holders range and used them for table and name placements as well as menu holders," said Steve.Research also shows that couples are renting items for their wedding instead of buying them. It gives ‘something borrowed’ a whole new meaning. Some businesses are planning to extend their January sales to cover the first two weeks of February to cater for pre-marital couples with a tighter budget. And for those cost-conscious Casanova’s, who can forget Asda’s 8p Valentines card?

So there is hope for all you hopeless romantics. Here are my tips for Valentines on a budget:

Instead of a card, write your loved one a letter or a poem that shows how much they mean to you. You don’t have to be a Shakespeare. Your own words will be effective.

Why not go all Blue Peter and make something? A mixed tape with their favourite songs will remind them of the good times you’ve had. A photo of you both in a frame is simple and sweet. Even a collage of tickets, receipts, postcards and beer mats is a quirky reminder of the time you’ve spent together.
Cook them a meal with their favourite dish. It shows you have made an effort and they will appreciate it. And crack open that vintage bottle of wine you’ve had for forever as this will save you from buying one.

And every little helps. Run them a bath, walk the dog or wash the dishes because it’s the small things that make the biggest difference. And ladies, try a compromise. Let him watch the match and he can play with your feet after it.

A celebration of love or a way to make money? Everybody likes that bit of recognition on Valentines Day even if we hate to admit it. And this year, though money may be tight, you can still enjoy yourselves without breaking the bank.

Me? I will be in Sheffield and my boyfriend will be in Shotton. We won’t be celebrating because I can’t afford the train fare home.

Ooh la la! Je’taime mon cheri!

Now where’s me Yorkshire Blue?